Tag: jokes
member name: Maria W.
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November 12, 2008 07:23 AM EST --
Found on the Internet.
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit Us and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
They live here. You don't.
If you don't like their hair on your clothing, . . .
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November 13, 2008 12:29 PM EST --
Two funny blondes traveled 2 hours from town and walked deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree. They were all warmly dressed from head to toe carrying their saw, hatchet and a rope to drag . . .
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November 19, 2008 08:40 AM EST --
1 Those Ancestors!
The Taylor's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had travelled to America with the Pilgrim Fathers on the Mayflower. They had included Congressmen, successful . . .
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November 21, 2008 08:00 AM EST --
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
'Please let me in, 'says the man desperately. 'I forgot to buy a turkey, . . .
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November 21, 2008 08:05 AM EST --
Gratitude
In the week before Thanksgiving Mary-Jo asked her class of 9 year-olds to write a paragraph entitled:
'What I am most thankful for on Thanksgiving Day'.
All Joey could write was: . . .
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November 21, 2008 08:29 AM EST --
Just before Christmas God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His best angels . . .
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November 21, 2008 08:16 AM EST --
Here is Will and Guy's climate report for Thanksgiving Day in general, and for turkeys in particular.
Early Morning Thanksgiving Day
The temperature of turkeys will gradually rise throughout . . .
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November 19, 2008 08:44 AM EST --
Q1: Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas:
Ans: No. You'll have turkey the same us the rest of us.
Q2: What's the most popular Christmas wine?
Ans: 'I don't like Brussels . . .
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November 19, 2008 08:51 AM EST --
Picture this, it was just before Christmas, and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?'
The prisoner replied, 'Doing . . .
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November 13, 2008 11:45 AM EST --
10. The hours, the weather and the trend toward smaller chimneys.
9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.
8. Reindeer and elves have unionized.
7. New tax on flying sleighs. . . .
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November 25, 2008 09:19 AM EST --
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late . . .
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November 25, 2008 09:26 AM EST --
1) Santa's Outfit
How do you know Santa has to be a man?
No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.
2) Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
3) I kept Billie home because . . .
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December 15, 2008 06:41 AM EST --
On the Sunday before Christmas Reverend Billy Graham was walking down Highland street in Mt Holly, North Carolina on his way to see a parishioner. However, he wanted to post a parcel urgently so . . .
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February 28, 2009 10:20 AM EST --
Q: What's red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.
Q: What do you say when you meet a . . .
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March 17, 2009 08:29 AM EDT --
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, . . .
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March 17, 2009 08:36 AM EDT --
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's . . .
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October 30, 2008 07:58 AM EDT --
Got this is an email from my friend in Nova Scotia.
I think this one is PRICELESS!!!
This is something to think about when
negative people are doing their best to
rain on . . .
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November 01, 2008 05:13 PM EDT --
A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, 'Bartender, got any specials today?'
Bartender answers, 'Yes, as a matter of fact we have a new drink, invented by a . . .
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November 21, 2008 08:08 AM EST --
The turkey is one of the most famous birds in North America. In fact, Benjamin Franklin wanted to make the wild turkey, not the Bald Eagle, the national bird of the United States.
In 2007 it is reckoned . . .
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December 21, 2008 09:58 AM EST --
Winter in Kodiak, a time of little light.
The snow brightens the ground and the stars light up the night.
A cluster of Spruce sag deep, a drift in front of my car .
My heart weighs heavy. Thoughts . . .
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